I. The Unity We Find in Christ 00:00
…together in love, that we might be a witness to the goodness of God. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Well, today we get to talk about the enemies of our unity. And cheekily, I kind of want to say the enemies of our unity are all of you. If you all agreed with me, we’d be in good shape. If every one of you believed the way I did, liked the things I liked, there’d be no problem with our unity.
But of course, that’s not what we’re talking about when we talk about the unity that we find in Christ. We’re very clear in the New Testament that the unity we’re looking for is the unity between a hand and a foot, the unity between eyes and a mind, the unity that is different but working together. It’s made beautiful working together. It establishes the kingdom of God. Because we talk about Jesus and all that he did on earth, but when he left, he said, “Okay, your turn.” Not that he isn’t with us, working through us, but the church is Jesus’ plan to fulfill the redemption of the entire world. It’s a big project that we’ve been given, and you won’t accomplish it without unity, without love for God and love for your neighbor.
And so when we talk about this idea, within this wider series on faith, unity and joy, I’m continually reminding you that this is because God has something for us to do, specifically at Saint Michael’s. There are people who need to encounter the love of God. And if we unify around Christ, and Christ crucified, our Lord and Savior, then we can do things that will draw people into his presence.
Last week we talked about how Jesus talked about how people would know that you are disciples of Christ: you will know by the way they love one another. That is pretty remarkable. If you look around the world, there’s no greater sign of the goodness of God than a bunch of people who are different who love each other. The most common thing you find is people who use each other, abuse each other and hate each other. That’s the way of the world. We live a different way.
II. If Anyone Says, "I Love God" 02:34
And so we’re going to talk today about the enemies of our unity, the things that come against us when we try and live together in peace and we try and work together for the kingdom of God. We’re going to talk about the things that maybe you’re not proud of. Hopefully there’s some point in this sermon where you feel, hashtag, triggered. That’s my hope. But I’m going to call it the conviction of the Holy Spirit today. There’s hopefully going to be something where you say, “Oh, that’s me. Darn it, I could be better.” I know when I was writing the sermon, I had to stop several times and confess. Let me just say that. We’re talking about things that are common to us all, but things that by the Holy Spirit we can overcome.
Let’s start with this verse from 1 John 4:20. It says:
20 If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. 1 John 4.20
So let’s dig into this a little bit. He’s saying that you can’t love God and hate each other. It’s impossible. It’s actually nonsensical. It doesn’t make any sense. And this is why: because God made each one of you and implanted you with his image. And when you love God, he changes you, so that you can actually love others the way that he does, so that you can recognize in others the image of God.
Why do we fight for the protection of humans, and don’t go protest on the street because Chick-fil-A is selling chicken sandwiches? Because there’s something about humanity that God loves. There’s a divine purpose, a divine image in humanity. And that’s why we don’t get the scapegoat of saying, “Well, all those people who I don’t like, they are just disqualified.” No, absolutely not.
In fact, there’s this great teaching of this rabbi. He’s walking with his followers, and he asks them, “When do you know that the sun has risen?” And they start giving all these answers. You know, because the sun rises… I drive while the sun’s coming up quite a bit, and you see it starts to get a little lighter, and then a little lighter, and then maybe you see a peek of the sun coming up, and then you see a little more, and then finally the whole orb is in the sky. And the question was, at what point do you say the sun has risen? And he says, “When you can see in your enemy the face of God.”
That’s a challenging message: when you can see the image of God in the person whom you hate. Now, let me be clear here. There are a lot of people who are not living like they’re in the image of God, and we can righteously condemn evil, absolutely. My point is not to say that you should just bow down to everyone because God is in them. That’s a different teaching. The teaching that Christ came to teach was that each person was made in the image of God, and the goal of Jesus’ ministry was to restore that image to fullness. And so we call that out of people. Guess what? There are times where you guys need to tell me, “Hey, you’re not living like you’re made in the image of God.” We have to help each other, because our whole purpose is moving in a direction, so that we can evidence God in the world.
And so if you have to love others as evidence of your love for God, let’s talk about the things that get in the way of our love for others. Because you know what happens? Because we can’t see God, we often like to think he hates the same things and the same people we do, because he doesn’t talk to us all that often like we do with… You know, I might be talking to Thomas, and he’d be like, “Well, you’re wrong on that.” It’s really easy to ignore God when he tells us we’re wrong. And it’s really easy to paint him in our image: that he loves all the people we love, hates all the people we hate, and thinks all the ways that we do. That’s why it’s important to love your brother whom you do see, because it’s a lot harder to ignore him.
What God does is he has this equation, basically, of love. All the law is summed up in this: love God with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your soul, and love your neighbor as yourself (Matt 22.37–39). And as you work towards both of those goals, they each challenge the other. Our love for God brings out our love for our neighbor. Our love for our neighbor, that person who really is affecting you, allows you to see and to love God.
III. Strife 07:03
And so, like I said, we’re going to jump into a couple of the things that break up that unity, break up that love, some of the things that can weasel their way into our hearts and make us combative, divisive, divided.
First of all, we’re going to talk about strife. Now, the King James Version of a certain Scripture says, basically, strife opens the door to all manner of wickedness (James 3.16). The newer translations say selfishness and pride open the door to all manner of wickedness. Same. All strife comes from pride and selfishness, because you’re defending yourself, or you’re going out and declaring “my way” versus other people.
I actually have a couple of characters that we’re going to talk about in this sermon, because I really wanted to avoid mentioning any of you in these things. I’m calling them Jack and Joanna. No, I changed it: Jack and Jocelyn. I was like, “Maybe there’s a Joanna. I don’t want to offend anybody.” Jack and Jocelyn. I don’t know any Jacks. I don’t know any Jocelyns. So we’re going to keep it very clear, and any resemblance to reality is purely coincidental. Let’s just say that. So we’ve got this couple. I made a whole backstory for them. I won’t bore you with the details, but they met while they were working together. There was some competitiveness at first, but then they fell in love. Okay. But we’re going to talk about Jack and Jocelyn, and we’re not going to be very complimentary sometimes, because I’m going to show some of what we think about other people.
For instance, let’s talk about strife here. Let’s say you went into a board meeting with some of your bosses, and you’re pitching a new product for your company. And Jack and Jocelyn are in the meeting, and they start asking questions. Maybe Jack says, “Well, you can’t cover the cost of that. That’s not profitable.” Or Jocelyn says, “Our customers aren’t going to want that product.” And your immediate reaction is, “I hate Jack and Jocelyn.” That’s strife.
Now, let me just be clear here. I’m assuming we don’t know Jack and Jocelyn’s motivation for a second. But the way to respond to that is to answer their questions: “Well, here’s how I fix the cost,” or, “Here’s what our customers think about this product.” That’s not strife. That’s just conversation. That’s working together. That’s actually a part of unity. You bring something to the table that I don’t have, and we make each other better. Like iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another (Prov 27.17). That’s good.
But the enemy has a counterfeit to that need for us, and the enemy’s counterfeit is strife. What you do is you make it about how awful Jack and Jocelyn are. That’s strife. That’s when another person becomes an obstacle to what you’re trying to do, to what you think is right, rather than dealing with the ideas. They brought some ideas that might make yours better. Even if Jack and Jocelyn are pure evil and their whole goal is to tank your idea, the right response is a soft answer that turns away wrath (Prov 15.1). That’s what it says in Proverbs.
My mom told me that my whole life. I was very, very concerned that people were getting in my way and I needed to defend myself, and my mom kept telling me, “No, a soft answer turns away wrath. If you’re right, then trust God to defend you.” You don’t have to always win. Maybe that’s for me more than anybody else in this room. I feel that. You don’t have to always win.
In fact, it says in the New Testament, sometimes love gives way. What does that mean? It means even when you’re right, sometimes you step aside. Sometimes it’s not that important. And you know what’s better? Sometimes it’s better to be good than to be right. Now, you can’t divorce goodness from rightness, I understand that. But Paul had this whole argument where people were eating sandwiches at the local place that may have been offered to idols, and people were losing their minds, because you can’t eat spoiled food. And it made sense. They had a holy inclination. They wanted to serve God well. And he comes out and says, “You know what? Whatever God blesses, that’s pure.” That’s what we know. God can bless anything and make it good, and so he can make this food good, and it’s fine to eat it. “But if your buddy doesn’t think it’s okay, don’t eat it in front of him. In fact, don’t even argue with him about it. Love him by making room, by giving way.”
IV. A Beneficial Adversary 11:27
Okay, strife is the enemy’s counterfeit for the necessary and helpful conflict that you come into when you encounter another human being. There’s another example in Genesis. When God made Adam and Eve, he says it’s not good for man to be alone, and he made Adam a helper (Gen 2.18). There’s a word in there, ezer, and it could mean “beneficial adversary.” It’s somebody who makes you better by contending with you.
Or if you’re trying to do something really detail-oriented, maybe you’re trying to draw something that was just hyper-detailed, you could use your left hand to support your right, to make very detailed notes. And the way that you could do that is by opposing the force. You use two hands in opposition; you can make very fine, detailed adjustments. And the point is, they’re opposing each other and refining the work and making it better. That is necessary. It’s good. It’s a part of living with other human beings. I am better because a lot of you have come into conflict with me. A lot of these guys have come into conflict with me, and they’ve made me better.
But strife says, “You’re an obstacle.” That’s the counterfeit. Jack and Jocelyn’s questions about the product could have made my product better, unless I choose strife. And that’s something about your heart. You have to respond well, but you also have to keep an eye on your heart: what’s going on here? And you can feel it. You get unreasonably angry at somebody for something: something is stirring up in you.
V. Envy 13:53
So let’s talk about what might be stirring up in you. We’re going to talk about Jack and Jocelyn again. We’re going to talk about envy. In Proverbs 27:4 it says:
4 Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy? Prov 27.4
So Jack and Jocelyn have posted on their Instagram. You know what happened? They just got their dream home, and they’re vacationing in… I looked up a place. What did I…? Lake Como, Italy. Beautiful spot. And they’re posting about how Jack has gotten this promotion at work that you were trying to get, and Jocelyn’s going to be a stay-at-home mom now and just do whatever she wants. All of this stuff is happening, and something stirs in you. And when they get back, Jack’s posting about that Tesla he’s going to buy that you were hoping to get. All of the things are happening for Jack and Jocelyn, and you think, “Those people are awful. I hate them.” That’s jealousy. That’s envy.
But jealousy and envy are just as much a lie as strife. Jealousy and envy are a lie in at least two ways. Number one, it assumes that other people’s gain is your loss. You do know every good gift comes from above, from our good Father (James 1.17), and he doesn’t run out. Anything he gives to other people is not taken from you. Even if you were going for the same job promotion as that person, and they got the promotion and you didn’t, and you think, “That’s unfair. They got what I didn’t”: don’t you think God can promote you to something else? Don’t you think God can provide for you in that moment? Jealousy is all about losing trust in the goodness and the power of God, because you think you have to fight and struggle to get that thing, and you look at other people getting it and you go, “Why? That’s unfair.”
Secondly, it takes this two-dimensional slice of a person’s life. “I love that they got that dream home, or they got to go to Lake Como, and I’m mad that I didn’t get to do it.” But you don’t want to trade lives with those people. You don’t know about Jocelyn’s medical condition. You don’t know about Jack and his 70-hour work week that he had to work, for years at a time, to get that promotion. You don’t know what’s going on in their life. You wouldn’t trade with them. I know you wouldn’t trade your family for theirs. Maybe they even have a great family, but you wouldn’t trade your family. I wouldn’t trade my kids for anything, no matter how cool the Tesla is. Come on, guys. We get so caught up in our representations in our mind of what other people’s lives must be like: “Must be nice. Must be good.” What a lie. Everyone is fighting a hard battle. Every single person is fighting a hard battle. Don’t be jealous of people because you saw one Instagram post, or because you think one thing went well that didn’t go well in your life.
VI. The Kingdom Economy 17:28
And furthermore, your good God, he has so much for you. In fact, the twisting of envy is so bad, because what it does is it takes away that inborn thing in you to look up to the people around you. Like Paul says, “Imitate me as I imitate Christ” (1 Cor 11.1). We have something in us that looks for people to admire, to emulate. And if you look at all those people and tear them down because you’re jealous, you villainize them because you didn’t get what they have, you lose out on the kingdom economy. And the kingdom economy is like this: I admire you, and so I will try and be more like you, as you’re trying to be more like Christ, and we’ll all grow together into the body of Christ, the perfect bride, at that day when we are all glorified.
All of this is meant to pump us up, to grow our faith, to help us see the road ahead. In fact, there’s this idea: it’s really hard to believe for something you’ve never seen. It’s really hard to believe that God can heal when you’ve never seen a miracle. It’s really hard to believe that God can rescue you when you’ve never seen somebody rescued. When you see that person get the dream home, have faith that God can give you a house. If he did it for those lazy people, Jack and Jocelyn, he could do it for us. You know what I’m saying?
It’s a mind game. Comparison is the thief of joy, and it brings this division. And I mean, it’s been said a million times: social media amplifies this a thousand times. Here’s the game of social media: post the thing that makes you look the best and makes others feel the worst. That’s the goal. And you win. The people who do that get millions of followers, brand deals. What a messed-up, backward system. No. I believe that we’re called to live in the kingdom of God, where the first shall be last and the last shall be first (Matt 20.16), where it’s all about his goodness and my weakness. That doesn’t play on social media. It hijacks God’s system. But we should praise God for the blessings of Jack and Jocelyn and everyone in this room.
VII. Gossip 19:39
Okay, we’ve got strife, we’ve got envy, and we’ve got the fire starter: gossip. Gossip is awful. Let’s return to Jack and Jocelyn. Let’s imagine, after all this has happened (you’ve already had strife with them, you’ve already been envying them), then, guess what? You hear that Jack was fired from his job for suspicious activities. You don’t know what, but he was fired, and it was suspicious. And maybe Jocelyn had to go to rehab. You don’t know what kind, but rehab: that sounds bad. How many here could resist telling five people about what was happening to Jack and Jocelyn? How many people here could resist telling one person about what was happening to Jack and Jocelyn in that moment? That’s gossip. That’s awful.
Okay, let’s see what happens here, Proverbs 18:6–8:
6 A fool’s lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating. 7 A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul. 8 The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body. Prov 18.6–8
Oh, I love that verse: “his mouth invites a beating.” You aren’t just what you eat; you’re also what you speak. What you say, what you listen to, determines how you think about the world. It determines what you believe. And when you run off to tell that person, “Oh, did you hear about Jack? Did you hear about Jocelyn?” it feels good. It’s delicious morsels. But those go down into your inward parts. And I linked that with these other two verses because Proverbs is written that way; it’s meant to go together. Your lips are inviting a beating. You’re speaking things, like a fool, that you shouldn’t be.
And gossip tears people apart. Look at social media. I mean, all of social media is basically reporting on how bad other people are and how good you are, and that’s the fight. I mean, we’re in the Divided States of America right now. We’re talking about unity: United States of America, that’s the goal. That doesn’t look like where we’re at. And I’m just going to blame gossip, envy, strife. These are the things that are coming between us. Now, we probably can’t fix the whole country in this room, but we can dang well work on fixing ourselves. We can work on loving one another, holding our tongue.
I’ve got a few rules about it. But if you didn’t think gossiping was bad yet, let’s talk a little bit about what James says about it, James 3:5:
5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life. James 3.5–6
That’s not just talking about gossip. That’s talking about complaining. That’s talking about ridicule. That’s talking about being mean to one another. It’s talking about everything we say. It matters. The words that we speak can set our whole life on fire. And yet we’re so quick when we see that social media post, or we hear from a friend, “Did you hear…?” VeggieTales has the great one, the Rumor Weed. She’s going out: “Did you hear about Alfred?” and the whole town falls apart.
VIII. Three Rules for Not Gossiping 23:31
But really, though, I’ve got some rules that maybe we could work on here, three rules for not gossiping.
First: would you say what you’re saying if the person you were talking about was present? That’s a pretty good one. Like 90 percent of all gossip ends if you use that rule. But I’ve got more.
Number two: is what you are saying building up the person or tearing them down? That could even be good outside of gossip. Maybe you shouldn’t even tell them what you’re going to say, if it’s going to tear them down.
And number three (this is a good one): is it any of your business? It’s really straightforward, and I mean that very literally. Are you responsible for this person’s actions? Are you responsible to talk to this person? Because if you are, go talk to them, not your buddy. Go talk to Jack and Jocelyn: “Hey, heard you’re struggling. You just got fired. Can I help you?” How different is that from gossip, where we glory in others’ defeats? There are absolutely times when it is necessary to comment on people’s misfortunes and bad behavior, but almost never to your buddy Frank. It’s almost always with that person.
Ultimately, I gave you three rules; here’s a fourth one that trumps them all. Are you speaking while loving God with all your heart and loving your neighbor as yourself? Is what you’re saying following those rules? The test of love, I called it.
If we just cut out strife, envy and gossip, imagine how awesome we would be. That’s how God designed us to be. He wants to save us from ourselves and from each other. Consequently, he wants us to be a people who show the love of Christ, so that the whole world wants to be a part of our group. They want to be a part of the family of God.
IX. Unforgiveness 24:52
Lastly, we’re going to talk about unforgiveness. I’m not going to spend a ton of time on this, because it’s like sermon after sermon we could preach on unforgiveness. But I just want to bring it up, because I think it’s one of the key enemies of our unity. And probably what happened was, you had strife with somebody and you didn’t forgive them. Or you were envious of somebody, and somehow you decided that your envy justified an offense, and you haven’t forgiven him for that. You haven’t forgiven him for going to Lake Como. And third, maybe you were gossiping, or somebody gossiped about you, and you haven’t forgiven them.
So let’s look at unforgiveness. We pray it every time in the Our Father: “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive others.” And Jesus gives the Our Father prayer, which has that in the text, and he doesn’t think that’s enough. He follows it up by saying, in Matthew 6:14:
14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matt 6.14–15
That’s pretty intense. Jesus, are you sure you meant that? That sounds harsh. Let me tell you, he meant it. You can keep yourself in literal hell by holding on to unforgiveness. “It’s like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies” is the famous phrase.
I think forgiveness is all about healing and freedom. If you’re locked up in unforgiveness, you’ve given yourself over to something to have mastery over you. Because what the Holy Spirit is leading you towards is a life of love and forgiveness, like Jesus’. And when you don’t forgive someone, you plant a flag in the ground and say, “You can’t come here, Jesus. I’m holding on to my unforgiveness. I won’t do it.” Now, there’s a lot of other things in our lives that we might do that with, but unforgiveness seems particularly hard for us.
And I think it’s because it’s the enemy perverting our sense of justice. It’s perverting our sense that the world should be good and all wrongs should be made right. The thing that Jesus came to do was to make all wrongs right, to redeem the world, to restore justice. But the way Jesus fought for justice is the way we’re called to fight for justice: when he’s on the cross saying, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they’re doing” (Luke 23.34).
God wants to take that inbuilt sense of justice and move it in his mercy, in his time and his goodness. And once again, like the problem with envy, it’s all about trusting him. A lot of times we hold on to unforgiveness because they don’t deserve it. Well, who gets to decide that? Here’s a hint: it’s not you. It’s the God who went to the cross for that person. That sin that they committed against you, he died for. He’s not saying there is no cost, there is no healing, there is no redemption, there is no justice. He’s saying, “I will take the punishment, that justice might have its full representation in mercy.” G. K. Chesterton wrote of Saint Francis of Assisi that he walked the world like the pardon of God. I love that. When we’re talking about unity, we’re talking about loving one another. We’re talking about being an example to the world of the pardon of God, the forgiveness that is open to all.
X. One Body and One Spirit 28:41
Let’s end today with Ephesians 4:1–6. Paul writes:
1 I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. Ephes 4.1–6
As we end, I just want to say, Jack and Jocelyn and I are great friends now. No, I’m just kidding. But we are all invited this day: search your hearts. Where are you envious? Where are you jealous? Where are you striving with somebody? Where are you holding on to unforgiveness? Where do you need to stop talking about other people behind their back? Because God’s inviting us into another level of his love, of his goodness, and we’re going to see the kingdom of God. Amen.