The Faith of the Fathers

I. Fathers and Mothers 00:01

God, we thank you that you have called us here this morning to experience your healing power and to worship your holy name. We pray that you would encounter us in the words we speak, the songs we sing, and especially, Lord, we know we will meet you at the table. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Well, we’ve got a bit of a color change for you all in honor of Father’s Day. We figured we’d make everything pink and purple, you know, all the good colors for men. And today we’re going to talk about fathers. It was really a privilege last month to talk about mothers, and how mothers image God and image Christ, and it was a wonderful time celebrating them. And so, take a seat and listen to the fathers’ one now. No, I’m just kidding. I reject out of hand the dichotomy, or the enmity, between mothers and fathers. That is just not true. It is not reality. It’s not the world in which we live. But if you’re chronically online, as they might say, you may start to think that there’s some sort of battle between the sexes. It’s just not where we live. And I know that in this community we value mothers, we value fathers. And so when I’m talking today and I’m teaching on the role of the father, the centrality of the father in the family, the same thing is true, of course, as we talked about with the women. So if you ever feel like I’m overemphasizing the fathers, we’ll go back and we’ll listen to that sermon once again.

II. The Crisis of Fatherlessness 01:42

But no, it’s going to be fun to talk about this, because this is truly a battle in our culture. And I know you guys have heard this, and you’ve thought about that. Somebody at some point has told you there’s a battle in our culture for the fathers. There is a fight. One of the most fatherless communities that the West has ever known is America, right now. Europe’s pretty bad, too. There’s something happening in the world today, something that we need to pay attention to and that we need to be against.

In fact, I have at the back of my sermon here six categories of ways that the psychological literature and the statistical studies have shown the importance of fathers. I’m not going to spend the time going over this, but let’s just say this: the thing that we know to be true from the Scriptures is proved to be true in reality. As we study it more and more, we see that actually, guess what? Light-bulb moment: the father matters in a family. And of course, most of these statistics are so bleak because, largely, the mother stays. Largely, the mother is there. And so we’re going to really hit on the fact that probably the largest crisis that we are facing today is a lack of fathers. You can see that reflected across the incarceration rates. You can see that in mental health. You can see that in identity politics. You can see that in the lack of leaders in our culture that stand for truth. If I show you a leader, I will show you somebody that has a failing. It’s just this epidemic of fatherlessness that we are facing right now.

III. All Men Are Called to Be Fathers 03:34

So, starting with the problem that men are not becoming fathers, let’s start talking about what the Bible teaches us about the father. The first thing you need to know is that all men are called to be fathers. All of them. Men and women are created in the image of God, and as bearers of his image, we are called to be fathers and mothers. That’s just written into everything we are: pre-fall, post-fall, in the resurrection time, for all time. Part of your identity is to be a son, a brother, a husband, a father, or the vice versa. In fact, the first mandate, the first thing God tells humanity to reveal his heart and his plan for the world, starts with this:

28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Gen 1.28

It’s pretty clear what he means: [fruitfulness] and dominion. Those are two things that happen when fathers fill their roles. In fact, you can’t, as a woman, fulfill those roles without fathers. These are some pretty clear and basic studies of how the world works. Now, of course, fathers can’t do it without women as well, but let’s just focus on the fact that fathers aren’t showing up. The original mandate of the world is to fill the earth and subdue it. That requires fathers.

Now, the problem that’s happening in our culture is not only that men are leaving their children (unbelievably tragic, unbelievably wounding and hurtful). Men are just not having kids. The numbers are crazy. You see the graph… the one I was looking at this morning (although you can find a million) goes back to the early ’80s and goes through now: men who have children but aren’t present for their children, men who have children and are present for their children. Both of those numbers are falling, because men are just not having children.

So what do we do here, if you are not a father, and how do we solve this problem? Well, my advice today for those who are not yet fathers is: dress for the job you want. Start behaving like someone who could be a father. In fact, I would argue that one of the key problems with this demographic of people who are just not having kids is the idea (and you may have heard this a million times, you may be tired of hearing it, but it actually matters) of extended adolescence: the idea that you don’t adult until you’re thirty. “Adulting is hard.” You don’t grow up. There’s this Peter Pan syndrome: “I’m just going to make my life good, and I’ll think about children eventually.” It’s absolutely destructive, because it’s so unbelievably selfish. The world needs you. It needs young men. It needs you to become who you’ve been called to be.

And so, if you want to solve the problem, start dressing for the job you want. Start doing the things that make a father, even before you have children. It will just make you better. And over time, you will become a father to people. Imagine a situation where a man follows all of the… he disciples himself to Christ, becomes mature, provides, protects, all the things that a father does, but for whatever reason he doesn’t get married. You don’t think God’s going to bring in people to father? He’s going to become a spiritual father. He’s going to have an inheritance in the Lord. That I can promise you.

IV. Fathers Give Names 07:51

So what do fathers do? If we’re going to start acting like fathers, if we’re going to start growing into being fathers (and this is an encouragement for me as well, who is already a father; there’s plenty to learn), what do fathers do?

First of all, fathers give names. Now, the number one example that I love to go to, to talk about this, is the baptism of Jesus. What does God say? “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” He tells Jesus who he is. And then immediately Jesus is driven into the desert, and what is the enemy trying to convince him of? He’s saying, “Did God really say that? If you are the Son of God, couldn’t you do all these things?” (Matt 4.3). The attack is about identity. The attack is always about identity, believe it or not. Even the attack that says you should do that thing that you know you shouldn’t do: what it’s saying is that you will be better if you do these things. But if you knew who you were, if you knew who your Father in heaven was, you would know you don’t need anything. All good things come from God above. Your identity is where the battleground is.

And fathers give names. We see this borne out in the literature. I’ll mention some statistics. 85% of incarcerated youth grew up fatherless. They’re looking for something. They’re trying to figure it out. The vast majority of boys who go into gangs are looking for that identity in gangs. Even ISIS recruits are largely fatherless. This is cross-cultural. These are problems here. When you look at these things, and you look at what needs to happen, imagine somebody who grows up knowing that they’re a beloved son, called by the name of their father. And then imagine somebody who grows up without that. You’re building a foundation out of something that doesn’t exist for you.

Now, of course, mothers also name. Even in the Bible, there are mothers who say, “And so I will call him this.” Absolutely. But the first person who named, who was it? It was Adam, who was given the task of naming all the animals of creation. That is a role that we as fathers are called to play, that men are called to play. I could go so many directions with this. Even the fact that most discoveries are made by men is because in us is this coded design that we need to go out and figure out what things are. That is more present in men than it is in women. More present, more often. There are all these statistics that show this as paramount.

Even Paul references this in Ephesians:

14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, Ephes 3.14–15

Now, he’s making a comment here about the fact that all of us share a Father in heaven: every family on earth. One of his key designs was to show how Jews and Gentiles… guess what? God’s the Father of them all. We’re all able to be called by his name. But that’s what fathers do: they give their names.

Identity and naming are paramount. If you guys wonder why there was a huge fight a few years ago (and it still happens to this day) about calling somebody by the right pronouns: why was there a fight about that? Because what you call something matters. They knew that. That’s why they were fighting about it. There’s this idea that you have to call things the way that they are, and that actually is reality-affirming. It’s identity-affirming. It builds up a culture that knows who it is. Fathers are called to do this. And there’s a cost to the absence.

V. Fathers Bring Up Children in the Way of the Lord 11:36

Next, fathers bring up children in the way of the Lord. This is part of why we call our priest “Father.” I don’t know if you guys know that this is the symbolism: Father Lewis is our father in the Lord, as members of Saint Michael’s. That’s part of what he does. He fathers the flock. He leads the flock in the ways of the Lord. We also, on the flip side, call each father, like myself, Phil, all of us who have children, Jake, priests of their households. It’s the same imagery flipped. Because the first unit was Adam and Eve and their children, and Adam was a priest unto the Lord. And then he ended up taking the other offering. He did the wrong thing. And so forever we’re now reminding and recapitulating and remembering and bringing our family back to that which is true, which is that we are meant to worship the Lord as a family.

In fact, the reason why it’s “priest of their household” is because the priest leads us in worship. And what does worship do? Worship forms us. Worship is not performative; it is formative. You can say all the right things and do all the right things, but if you’re not being transformed, that’s not worship. That’s performance. And so when we worship, we’re being formed. And so what the father in the household does is lead people in the worship of the Lord.

I remember a home video from Jim House’s house, when he was waiting for a phone call that he needed to get for his business, because he had no money, everything was over. And he’s running around the house with all of his kids, singing a praise song at the top of his lungs. I saw this little clip of a video, and it’s lived in my head forever, because it’s like: that’s what the father does. He reminds us that the worship of the Lord is central. And if you don’t know this (and I don’t mean to criticize someone not here), Jim is tone-deaf. There was no beauty from an aesthetic perspective here. But it was beautiful still: shouting to the Lord.

And so you look at these things, and you see that when you lack a father, people will worship anything. I’m not saying that mothers can’t also fill this role, and everybody has God their Father, who is the Father to the fatherless. But the father’s role is to help orient his family towards the worship of the Lord.

In fact, in Joshua it’s very clear. Now, Joshua is being a little sarcastic, so I would like you to read this with a little personality. Sometimes we read the Bible and it’s just so flat. Joshua’s talking to them, and he goes, “Hey, look, if it’s evil in your sight to serve the Lord, then you choose this day whom you will serve.” He’s making fun of them. If you think it’s bad to serve Yahweh… and he just finished telling them how he set us free from Egypt, he did all this stuff, he fed us in the wilderness. He goes, “But if it’s evil to you to serve the Lord, well then, make your choice: whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Josh 24.15). That’s a mic-drop moment there. He was really letting them have it. And that’s what men and fathers are called to do.

Now, let me just throw this out there to you guys: why don’t you choose this day if you will serve the god of convenience, the god of security, the god of status or influence, the god of pleasure, the god of entertainment, the god of technology, the god of capitalism, the god of the Republicans or the Democrats, the god of vacations, festivals, and experiences? But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. That’s the impression here. We think, “The gods of the Amorites. Those silly Israelites.” Well, how many of those things do we find ourselves chasing? “I just need a little more security, and then I can be generous.” “I just need a little more status, and then I can feel accepted and worthy.” “I just need to go on this one experience, because it’s once in a lifetime, and if I fill my life with all the experiences, then maybe my life will be meaningful.” All of these things are the false gods that we’re tempted to serve, and we have to continually say, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

And as they’re bringing up the children in the way of the Lord, we get this very practical recommendation from Paul:

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephes 6.4

What does that mean? Well, let’s just say this. Your leading of your children in the way of the Lord is not about you being the king in your household. It’s not about you dictating their behavior. It’s not about you telling them, “If you guys just do all of my expectations, then you can be right with me.” That’s not how God leads us. No, leading has to do more with laying down your life for your children.

Now, let me be very clear, because the next one is about a father’s discipline: this also means you have to change their behavior. But it’s not about building your perfect little kingdom. It’s about listening and discerning with the Lord how to love your kids. Because I know for a fact that if I were to just get my way all the time in my house, and that was the point, my way, then I would be provoking a lot of people to anger, and it doesn’t stop with my kids. We have to be careful. We have such an immense responsibility, because truly we (with our wives, but especially us) are representing how these children will relate to their Father in heaven.

Everyone grows up with a twisted view of God, because we live in a fallen world. We do our best to point them in the right direction, and then, as they grow up, they start taking ownership of their relationship with God. My dad used to tell me, “Hey, you better learn these lessons in my house, because soon you’re going to be under God’s auspices. You’re going to leave this house, and then God will be the one who’s disciplining you and dealing with you.” Not that he wasn’t helping out along the way. But it was such an idea: our job is to transfer them into the household of their God, so that for the rest of their life they know how to respond to a father, the Father.

We image the Father to our children, and so let’s be careful. Let’s not provoke them to anger. And Proverbs, of course, is our great encouragement, where it says:

6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Prov 22.6

You just want to rest in that, fathers. Because, man, you can feel the burden of, “But what if they do this wrong, or what if they do that, or what if this thing? What if I just didn’t do a good enough job?” The promise is, you can trust God. Raise them up in the way. Bring them to church. Take them to home group. Put them in youth group. Get them around people who are worshiping God, and worship God yourself, and try to teach them in the way, and then trust God with the rest. He will keep them and guide them.

VI. Fathers Discipline 19:04

And so let’s talk about some discipline here. My dad has this joke that you will hear ten thousand times, probably, in your lifetime, if you know him. He likes to bring it up. He says, “I don’t believe in beating children, excepting they’re your own.” There’s a lot of necessary discipline in the raising of children. If that’s news to you, we can have a further conversation later. I’ll give you some anecdotal evidence: I will remind you of who I was as a child. There is some necessary discipline in the lives of our children. And if it was a burden to raise them up in the way they should go, the discipline burden is great and heavy. Because, once again, it’s not so that you can be the king in your kingdom. It’s so that he can be the King in your household, so God can rule and reign in your household.

So when you look at discipline, though, let’s remember that all of this applies to our heavenly Father and how he treats us. Proverbs:

11 My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, 12 for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights. Prov 3.11–12

Do you delight in your children? Prove it. Discipline them. This is what a father does. When you delight in your child, you discipline them. Let’s see how it plays out when Paul… or the writer of Hebrews, I should say, is talking to the Hebrews here. He says:

7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Heb 12.7–8

That’s pretty strong. If God isn’t disciplining you, then you are illegitimate. And if you’re not disciplining your children, then you’re making them illegitimate. That’s pretty intense. So here’s my question: where is God disciplining you in your life today? Because I promise you, he’s not going to make you illegitimate. He loves you too much. He will discipline you.

In fact, discipline and disciple come from the same root. And all year we’ve been talking about discipleship. They go hand in hand. Discipline is about forming you. Now, I need to be very clear: discipline is not punishment. [Punishment] is a repayment for a penalty: you did something wrong, you deserve this result. Jesus took all of that on the cross. All the penalty is gone. You have no condemnation. But discipline is not that.

In fact, I have this conversation with my kids frequently when they’re getting disciplined. It’s like, “Here’s the thing. I’m not mad at you, but I want you to be better, and this is a tool to make you better. I’m not getting back at you for hitting your brother. I’m not getting back at you for disrespecting or disobeying. I am helping you learn how to not do that anymore, because you will be happier.” And that’s how God disciplines us. He’s never mad. He’s never upset. But he applies that which will make us better. Discipline: that which will help us. And you’ve got to endure. “It is for discipline that you have to endure.” Suffering is not the point, but it must be endured. It is a part of the whole.

11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Heb 12.11

I think I’m going to start opening up every time my children are receiving any sort of discipline with this verse: “I know it’s painful right now. It is not pleasant. But don’t worry, Rowan. The peaceful fruit of righteousness is going to be there. Aren’t you excited?” It is so good.

VII. Children Are a Heritage from the Lord 23:07

Okay. Fathers: they instruct in the way of the Lord. They discipline their children. They also see children as a heritage from the Lord. We read in Psalm 127, beginning in verse 1:

1 Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. 2 It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep. Ps 127.1–2

We’re starting here because this leads to the part about children. You’ve got to get this right. In fact, when we’re talking about all these men who want to be fathers, or maybe are just thinking about becoming good men in the meantime, in the moment: how much anxious toil are you striving under? That’s not what we mean. Sometimes you can think that that’s what it means to be a father: to be anxious, overwrought, and completely stressed out because of the burden of fatherhood. I get it. I feel it. I resonate with that. But I don’t want to eat the bread of anxious toil.

It reminds me of the other passage, where it says, “Why do you spend your money on the bread which does not satisfy?” (Isa 55.2). There’s a free living water. There’s a well that never runs dry. There’s bread that will satisfy you forever. It’s Jesus. And so if you’re feeling that, here’s my encouragement: go to Jesus. Ask him for help. Try to measure where your motivation is coming from. Because ultimately he will rewrite you. He will discipline you. He will transform you. He will make you someone who can walk with the peaceful fruit of righteousness. And when that happens, then you can realize this next part. Because if you’re eating the food of anxious toil, you’re probably going to have difficulty realizing this.

In fact, I think a lot of the people who complain about how hard children are complain because they’re eating the bread of anxious toil. I’m not saying that you can’t say children are hard. Children are very hard. But I am saying that when you get lost in it, like, “Man, I can’t…” People come up to us all the time. My wife’s pregnant with her sixth baby. They see her at the park with the five kids, and they go, “Are all these yours? And you have another one? I couldn’t do more than one. That just was awful. I can’t do anything more than I’ve already done. I can’t imagine how difficult and anxious your life must be.” That’s the impression. They may not articulate it quite like that, but that’s the point. Because they’re eating the bread of anxious toil. It doesn’t satisfy. Unless the Lord builds the house, the laborers labor in vain. So let God build your house, and then:

3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. 4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. 5 Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. Ps 127.3–5

So you don’t even need to get your dad a Father’s Day gift. He is blessed. You’re an arrow in his quiver. These are exciting things. To have children is a blessing. Fathers see that. Fathers know that. Fathers are transformed by that.

VIII. Fathers Provide 26:46

Okay, we’ve got to keep moving. I’m going too slow. Fathers provide. It’s our last point here. Fathers provide and protect. There’s this famous passage that you’ve probably heard before: “Ask, and you will receive. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and it will be opened to you” (Matt 7.7). We all know that. How does Jesus demonstrate that principle in the kingdom? He demonstrates it by talking about fathers:

9 Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? 11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! Matt 7.9–11

Praise the Lord. He’s better than any of us, and he will give you what you need. And we are called to be like him. We’re called to provide for our children, provide for our household. I didn’t put this one on a slide, because I didn’t want you guys to get too freaked out, but Paul says to Timothy:

8 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 1 Tim 5.8

Get a job. If you don’t know what else to do, get a job. That’s a part of this whole thing. Don’t eat the bread of anxious toil, but get a job. Learn how to get a job and provide without being anxious, and you will be well on your way to becoming a father. These are important things that you have to do.

And a good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children (Prov 13.22). That’s pretty cool. And we’re not just talking money there. We’re talking spiritual inheritance. That’s way more important than money. My grandfather, Papu, left me this gladius sword that’s really awesome, and I love it. But you know what I value from him? The sermons that he preached, which I still listen to. The life that he lived, that shaped my parents, that shaped this church. That is what I value. That’s the inheritance I got from my grandfather. He was a good man, and he left an inheritance for his children’s children.

IX. Fathers Lay Down Their Lives 28:57

Okay, the actual last point: fathers lay down their lives. It’s required, actually. I don’t know if you guys know this, but being a father is actually about self-sacrifice. One of my favorite preachers says, “Marriage is a death march to a life camp.” You have to die on the way, but you will experience so much life. And Paul says:

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, Ephes 5.25

So if you’re wondering how much death you need, that’s how much: the one where you’re betrayed, emptied, tortured, and murdered. That’s the type. You should be laying down your life for your family. Let me make it very clear: I doubt very many of us will be tortured and killed. But how many of us have to take out the trash cans at four in the morning before they go up north to help out with their family? To lay down their life for their family. It’s such a small thing, but man, does it make a difference. I haven’t done it the past couple of months, so I’m reminding myself. Haley will hold me to account later.

But here’s the point: we have got to get over ourselves if we want to be fathers. It’s hard, but it’s so good. Because what did it say about Jesus? He didn’t just do it because he loved suffering, because he just loved being betrayed by his friends. No, it said, “for the glory that was set before him.” What’s the glory of fathers? Their children, and their children’s children, and their children’s children’s children. Imagine the heritage you have in the Lord.

And this applies to those who only ever have spiritual children as well. Think of all the monks and priests in the Catholic Church who aren’t allowed to marry, who have thousands of people in their spiritual heritage because they chose to be fathers. They chose to lay down their life for the flock, for the sheep. You can do that without being ordained. If you’re a single man who is not a father yet, just act like a father in the church, and God will bring you spiritual children that you can bless. Because everybody needs it. Think of all these young men who don’t have fathers. We as the church, when we bring people into our community, can image Christ to them. We can image the Father to them. We can participate in God being the Father to the fatherless.

I have gone on too long, but I have one more thing to say. Excuse me, it’s Father’s Day. I’m taking liberties, I guess.

X. Honoring Father Powell 31:50

Today we want to particularly pause and talk about a father in our midst. Father Lewis Powell was ordained thirty years ago as a father to all of us in this congregation. And we get an opportunity today to embarrass the heck out of him, and so I’m going to take it. I can tell you from personal experience and from observation that Father Powell is a man who has laid down his life for his family and for this church. And the fruit, the glory, of Father Powell is all of his daughters, and then his grandchildren, and that will redound for generations. But today in particular we’re honoring his sacrifice for the church. He’s been here for a long, long time. And so he has found many, countless, and immeasurable opportunities to lay down his life for the flock. And so today we’re going to present him with a little symbol of our gratitude for the sacrifice that he has made for the church.

I was recently reading and studying this verse where Jesus said, “Sell your coat and go buy a sword.” And the disciples said, “We have two swords.” And he said, “It is enough” (Luke 22.36–38). Well, this was my thought: I have one sword, and now you have another. And now we have two. It is enough.

We have to show you: there’s a little engraving here. It says, “Father Lewis Powell, ordained June 16th, 1996. Guard yourselves and all the flock,” which is a paraphrase of Acts 20:28 (Acts 20.28). Because the other thing fathers do is protect. They do.

Father Powell: Yeah, if there is a symbol for my priesthood and it’s a sword, I’m a happy man.

Jesse: Awesome. Thank you, Father Powell.

Father Powell: Thank you. Wow. I have no words.